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Legend of the Protectors by: Sarah Jensen

A young adult urban fantasy

WIP

I have a new WIP that I’m calling SURVIVING right now. Today, I wrote 3000 words so far. I love when the story just flows.

Here’s the beginning. And remember this is raw. ๐Ÿ™‚

CHAPTER 1. THE FALL

He wrapped his arms around me and held on tight. At times we hit ground, but mostly just fell through open air. Our screams tangled with the rushing wind. I focused on the changing colors behind my closed lids, not willing to know the exact moment of our death. Or even worse-if we lived.

The fall lasted too long already, and I had to fight the instinct to look down. As I gave in and my eyes opened, a bed of white foaming water appeared. I had just enough time to take a deep breath when we sliced through the twisted surface. He still held me, pulling me up with him. My ankles ached and my lungs felt on fire. The man swam hard with the current, tugging me along.

After what seemed like an eternity of fighting to stay afloat, the man had us to the rocky shore of the raging river. We lay intertwined with one another for some time, both trying to catch our breath. Finally, the man asked, “Is anything broken?”

I lifted my head off his shoulder and looked into his large, milk chocolate eyes. “Um, I’m not sure. You?”

He slowly started moving his body beneath me. “I don’t believe so. But do you mind getting off me so I can make sure.”

I fought back an embarrassed smile. “Sure.” I rolled to my side, wincing at the pain my whole body was racked with. I watched the man as he stretched his long muscular body. He shook water from his black curly hair.

“Just bruised up really good. But other than that…” He looked at me sprawled on the ground and frowned. “So, want to explain why we both nearly died? Who are those men, and why did I almost take a bullet for you?”

I knew that was coming, even had the perfect rehearsed answer. But for some reason, staring in this man’s eyes, I couldn’t give it. So I did the next best thing. Kept my mouth shut.

I sat up and inspected my ankles. Sore, but not broken. The left was sprained, but I could walk. We couldn’t stay put, it wouldn’t take long for ARCOVE’s men to find us. I pushed off the ground, steadied myself, and asked, Can you walk?”

The man’s glare could’ve cut through glass. I looked away. “We need to move.” I hoped he’d follow as I trekked into the trees. I needed to get my bearings and find a way out of this mess.

“Hey, wait.” He grabbed my arm. His grip was strong, but I could’ve gotten way. “I’m not going anywhere unless I get some answers.”

I shrugged off his hand. “Suit yourself. But if you stay here, those men won’t answer your questions, they’ll kill you.” I caught the blaze in his eyes and the glare before I turned and hobbled towards the trees.

Twigs snapped behind me. His heavy steps would make finding us that much easier for Abraham Maller and Mr. Clean. “Hey, mind treading lighter? I’d like to live to see another day.”

He grumbled something under his breath, and I assumed, stopped. I turned back and he nearly plowed me down. When I started walking again, I felt his breath on my neck on occasion, but rarely heard him. A normal civilian wouldn’t know how to walk through the jungle that way. And he was definitely American, no doubt about it. He didn’t belong in the Amazon.

I almost laughed out loud. Neither did I.

Have a great weekend!

sarahsig

Another attempt at the synopsis

Okay, hopefully this is it. But let me know what y’all think. ๐Ÿ™‚

Synopsis:

When seventeen-year-old SAMANTHA SANDERS’ parents are killed in a car accident, she is forced to move half way across the country to live with the blind Cherokee grandfather she hardly knows. After a nightmare where she finds herself inside the mind of a killer, she’s positive she doesn’t want to stay in Oklahoma.

Sam falls for twenty-one-year old hottie, Deputy ANDREW CLEARWATER, and he returns the affection at first. But his behavior soon changes, becoming erratic and standoffish. Missing Andrew, Sam finds solace in her math tutor, JAMES PETERSON.

The close relationship her grandfather has with Andrew and his mother throws them together often. During a game of backyard football, Andrew tackles Sam, pinning her to the ground. Before they can kiss, her mind is overcome by an inhuman presence. Sam is rushed inside, away from Andrew, and through her confusion, darkness takes over her mind. She sees through the eyes of a monster who wants to destroy them. A searing pain shoots through her body, ending her vision. Frantic and scared, Sam demands explanations, only to discover some answers aren’t easy to swallow.

Andrew explains to Sam that they both come from a long line of Cherokees Protectors with special gifts that aid them in destroying Flesh Eaters-monsters in human form. She figures out her recurring nightmares are more than just bad dreams. They are a window into the mind of the monster, leaving her with a lust for blood-and for the Flesh Eater.

Andrew and Sam’s mutual attraction continues to grow and they begin dating. After sneaking out, and going way further than either intended, Andrew decides it’s best to take a break from Sam for a while. The lack of attention from Andrew makes resisting James’s advances that much harder. To complicate feelings further, another admirer emerges from the shadows-COLIN, the all-too-real monster from her dreams.

Although Colin is bound by his kind to kill her, he becomes obsessed with Sam and manipulates her thoughts and dreams. Eventually he shows himself, speaking only in her thoughts, and vows to watch over her. Sam hates herself for the attraction she feels when the monster calms her fears, and for the desire that fills her in his presence and through her dreams.

The other Flesh Eaters are angry with Colin for allowing Sam to live. Colin’s long time lover tries to destroy the newest Protector, but Andrew arrives in time to save her. When Colin steps out of the woods, Andrew believes they are doomed, but instead, Colin murders his mate in order to save Sam.

After the near-death experience, Andrew breaks things off with Sam for good, telling her he thinks his attraction is just physical. Heartbroken, she again turns to James, who’s more than willing to comfort her. Sam struggles to deal with the love of her life dumping her, and tries to understand why the Flesh Eater saved her life. But her hardships are nothing compared to the hell Andrew is living through trying to keep up the lie.

Andrew keeps the real reason he left Sam from her. Her grandfather’s visions revealed that if she didn’t remain pure, the Underworld could gain control of the Protectors, ultimately destroying them.

Random Scene from Legend

Friday morning before I left for school, Andrew called. “I don’t work tonight. Do you want to do something?”

“Um. I kinda promised James that I’d go to his basketball game. Vincent wants to go so he can talk to Laura. He met her last night.”

He sighed, but then in what I knew was a forced, pleasant voice said, “Okay. Some other time then.”

“Come with us,” I blurted.

“Yeah right, Sam.”

“I’ll cancel.”

“No. Then I’m being a jerk. Go to the game, and maybe we can go to the Tulsa Zoo tomorrow.”

I sat on my desk chair. “Because Paw-pa’s suddenly forgotten that he doesn’t want us alone and will gladly give his permission?”

He laughed. “No. Because I’m going to bring Mark and the new love of his life, Elizabeth, with me, and beg. We won’t ever be alone, and I’ve really made up my mind this time that the no French Kissing Rule is back in affect. So nothing will happen.”

“Oh. Then I bet he says yes.”

“He will.” His voice became like a dancing flame, melting me. “I can be very persuasive when I want to be.”

“I know. So, can I see you after the game?”

His voice changed back to normal. Still sexy. That deep Southern accent always got to me. “I should probably go to bed. I do have to work Sunday morning. I’ll get plenty of sleep tonight so I can spend all day with you tomorrow.”

“Then I’ll see you bright and early in the morning.”

Song of the Heart

My friend Michael performs You Don’t Know Me.

New Synopsis

What do y’all think of this?

Synopsis:

When seventeen-year-old SAMANTHA SANDERS’ parents are killed in a car accident, she is forced her to move halfway across the country to live with the blind Cherokee grandfather she hardly knows. After a dream where she finds herself inside the mind of a killer, she’s sure she doesn’t want to stay in Oklahoma.

Sam and her grandfather eat dinner with twenty-one-year old hottie, Deputy ANDREW CLEARWATER, and his mother a week Sam and her grandfather eat dinner with twenty-one-year old hottie, Deputy ANDREW CLEARWATER, and his mother a week after her parents’ death. She breaks down and Andrew consoles her, almost kissing her, but his behavior over the next few weeks becomes erratic and standoffish, so Sam finds solace in math tutor, JAMES PETERSON. almost kissing her, but his behavior over the next few weeks becomes erratic and standoffish, so Sam finds solace in math tutor, JAMES PETERSON. Unfortunately, she’s looking for a friend while he’s looking for a girlfriend.

During a backyard game of football, Andrew tackles Sam, pinning her to the ground. But before he can kiss her, her mind is overcome by a presence that doesn’t feel human. The game ends when Andrew’s cousins rush her inside. Darkness takes over, and Sam experiences a strange ability to see through eyes starving for the destruction of Andrew and his uncle, until a searing pain shoots through her body, ending her vision. Frantic and scared, Sam demands explanations but quickly realizes they are not easy to swallow.

Andrew pulls Samantha aside and explains the Cherokee Protector Legend. They both come from a long line of Cherokees with special gifts and talents that aid them in destroying Flesh Eaters, monsters of human form. She realizes her recurring nightmares are more than just bad dreams-they are a window into the mind of the monster that leaves her with a lust for blood, and for him.

Andrew and Sam’s attraction continues to grow and they begin secretly dating. As she struggles with the advances of James, another admirer emerges from the shadows-COLIN, the all-too-real monster from her dreams.

Although Colin is bound by his kind to kill her, he becomes obsessed and manipulates her thoughts and dreams. ย When he eventually shows himself, he speaks only in her thoughts, and vows to watch over her. Sam hates herself for the calming affect he has on her. The attraction she feels doesn’t help either.

When Colin allows Sam to live, it angers the other Flesh eaters, and Colin’s long time lover, Jasmine, takes it upon herself to destroy the Protector. Andrew shows up in time to keep Jasmine from killing Sam, but when Colin steps out of the woods, Andrew feels death for them is certain. In the end, Colin saves Sam by murdering Jasmine.

After the near death experience, Andrew breaks up with Sam, telling her he thinks his attraction is just physical. Heartbroken, but determined to stay strong, Sam turns to James, who’s more than willing to comfort her. Sam doesn’t realize Andrew’s true reasons for leaving her: Don’s visions have revealed that if Andrew doesn’t stay away from Sam, together they would destroy the balance of the Protectors. Sam struggles to find sense of her life, but it’s nothing compared to the hell Andrew is living through each day trying to keep up with the lie.

Middle ground query

Okay, here’s another go at putting these together. What do y’all think?

When seventeen-year-old Samantha Sanders is forced to move in with her blind Cherokee grandfather, vivid nightmares take her inside the mind of a killer. She dreams of murders that actually happen…while they’re happening.

Sam finds herself in a forbidden relationship with local hottie, Sheriff’s Deputy Andrew Clearwater. Soon after, she experiences a terrifying vision of a strange attack on him, through the eyes of his attacker. Flustered, she turns to Andrew for explanation. He reveals her dreams and the attack are related to an ancient line of Cherokee Protectors who fight Flesh Eaters-monsters that look like us, but come straight from the depths of legend. As their descendants, Sam and Andrew are bound by duty to protect others.

Loosely based on the Cherokee Legend The Stone Shield, this young adult urban fantasy LEGEND OF THE PROTECTORS is complete at 97,000 words.

A registered Cherokee, I enjoy studying the history and legends of my people.

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Shortened Query, take 2

Thanks Jarucia for your edits. How’s this folks?

Seventeen-year-old Cherokee, Samantha Sanders has vivid nightmares-which take her inside the mind of a killer, as she dreams of murders that actually happen…while they’re happening. She discovers a connection between her dreams and an ancient line of Protectors she belongs to, who fight Flesh Eaters-monsters that look like us, but come straight from the depths of legend.

Sam finds herself, not only attracted to another Protector, but also to one of the monsters. And this man-monster has the power to control her dreams and influence her feelings.

Though I believe LEGEND OF THE PROTECTORS will appeal to the readers who love the romance in Twilight, it is not another vampire story. Loosely based on the Cherokee Legend The Stone Shield, this young adult urban fantasy LEGEND OF THE PROTECTORS is complete at 98,000 words.

A registered Cherokee, I enjoy studying the history and legends of my people.

If you would like to consider my novel, I can be reached at

Shortened Query

Is this a better hook?

It’s shorter, for sure. ๐Ÿ™‚

Of Cherokee heritage, seventeen-year-old Samantha Sanders discovers a connection between her vivid nightmares-which take her inside the mind of a killer, as she dreams of murders that actually happen…while they’re happening-and the an ancient line of Protectors she belongs to, who fight Flesh Eaters-monsters, who look like us, but come straight from the depths of legend. Sam finds herself, not only attracted to another Protector, but also to one of the monsters. And this man-monster has the power to control her dreams and influence her feelings.

Loosely based on the Cherokee Legend The Stone Shield, this young adult urban fantasy LEGEND OF THE PROTECTORS is complete at 97,000 words.

A registered Cherokee, I enjoy studying the history and legends of my people.

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